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Quotes about Moving On
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Funny Quotes about Love

Enjoy these Funny Love quotes. Love is best when taken lightly.

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Funny Cynical Romantic Love

To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal


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I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

At the beginning, we are in relationship
because we are attracted to the other person -
we think they are sexy, smart, funny,
whatever it is that we find appealing.
But very quickly, the focus of the relationship
turns to whether we feel appreciated.
If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to
do it is another question altogether.
- Johnny Vegas

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
- Bob Hope

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
- Bill Cosby

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
- Joe E. Lewis

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Brought up to respect the conventions,
love had to end in marriage.
I'm afraid it did.
- Bette Davis

I have a love interest in every one of my films:
a gun.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- Bob Hope

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
- Cathy Guisewite

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
- Alanis Morissette

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Plus, I love comic writing.
Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something.
- Michael Pollan

I don't mean to sound - I don't want it to come out funny,
but I don't like show business.
I love - I love acting in films.
I love it.
- Gene Wilder

I've always thought those guys are really funny.
And I love Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Mary.
- David Zucker


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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